Religious people and spiritual people often use the phrase I chose for a title. I have to be honest, this phrase is getting on my nerves. Every time I ask people to elaborate they usually put their hands on my shoulders, smile and say something like “Relax, let it go”. Ok, first of all, don’t touch me, ‘personal space, people’ and most importantly, what exactly should I “let go”? That shit thing some moron did to me? I should pretend it never happened and hug that person and buy him (or her) an ice cream?
Religious people say “Jesus forgave humans for what they did to him and asked God to forgive them too as he was dying on that cross”. Well, cudos to Jesus, I’m just a mortal, full of sin and shit like that, so thank you, but no, thank you.
Spiritual people, on the other hand, give things a bit more logical thought (of sorts) and even scientific argument. They say “if you keep that negativity, it’ll destroy you from inside, because it works like a poison.” Ok, if we look at this argument from a psychological point of view, they’re kind of right. Negativity will cause all sorts of psychological problems and you’ll end up diving in a bottomless pool of severe depression.
So, I get it! The key is to move on from that ugly episode and get on with your life. Fair enough, but I think there’s a bit more to it than just moving on. One of the most important things to do is to make sure you’ve learned the lesson so that you don’t find yourself in a similar situation in the future. No guarantees of course, but at least you’ll be on alert and prepared to deal with a potential situation accordingly. “Learning from my mistakes” is what’s it called. Yep,“MY” mistakes. We usually get screwed when we trust someone way too much and sometimes even go against our instincts, even though they’re shouting “Don’t do it! Something’s not right! Stop!”. So yeah, I think we are partially to blame when we get screwed, not always, of course, we didn’t ask for it for sure, but sometimes trusting our instincts can be beneficial for both our physical and mental health.
So! Learn the lesson, that’s N1.
Next thing is… if I were to decide to let that episode go, then I’d have to let go everything that episode consisted of, including that person (or group of people) that screwed me up. Letting these people go means deleting them from my life. Permanently.
That was the forgetting part, which is not very forgiving, I know, but forgiveness is something you, the offender, should deserve. I’m not going to go after you for what you did to me, because vengeance is not the answer (EVER!) and is a part of that negativity, that will poison you from inside. Getting health problems because of an urge to get back at your offenders? It’s not worth it, but I ain’t sure as hell forgiving you, dear offender, just like that. Forget about it. If you really are sorry for what you did, if you truly realize that you’ve been acting like a worthless piece of non-sweet smelling brown substance, you’ll prove it to me.
Make me consider giving you a second chance. Just considering. No guarantees. How should you do it? Don’t ask me, I don’t know, nor do I care. You were good with coming up with an idea of how to screw me, now work on proving that you’re sorry. Go on, you can do it… and that’s the forgiving part.
Uh, I think I’ve said everything I wanted to say on this subject. So in conclusion…
Forgive? Perhaps. Forget? Never.